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New Chuckese

2007-07-21 2:58pm

0. About Chuck-ese

Hello, my name is Chuck, and this is the latest incarnation of my blog. I've tried to experiment with different blogging systems, and you can pretty much expect me to abandon this as readily as I did the others. While it lasts, though, I'll actually be able to recieve feedback from my non-existent readers.

  • Name: wolfie

    This “About - - - ” section is rather weak. You disappoint Me.

    Posted Jan 17, 9:33 PM



2007-08-13 5:48pm

1. An Explaination of the Name (13-January-2007)

[EDIT: This blog originally had the subtitle "Thoughts -> Words -> Attempted Speech -> Chuck-ese".]

I suppose that it would be in good form to explain the name of my new blog in the first post.

It all begain in Eighth Grade, at lunchtime. I was dutifully describing to my friends my response to a question on an American History test they had yet to take. The answer had something to do with the Triangle Trade, and as I was using the words "trade routes," I made a little gesture with my fingers; I pointed both of my hands downward, extended my index fingers, and moved them from side to side.

My long-time friend Steve immediately mimicked/mocked me. Mark and Ryan joined in the fun. From that day foreward, my habit of making erratic hand gestures would lead to the birth of a whole new language whose sole purpose was to mock said habit. By the end of that fateful day, we had coined four words in "Chuck-ese":

  • Trade Routes (see above),
  • Ship: Make a goalpost with your hands; thumbs together, index fingers up.
  • Trade Ship: Same as "Ship" but pointing downward.
  • Trade Ship Trading: Make "Trade Ship", and wiggle fingers as in "Trade Routes"

Since that day, we have added innumerable words to the Chuck-ese vocabulary:

  • Third Wife: three middle fingers extended and touching, slap inner elbow of opposite arm.
  • Natives with AKs: Pretend you are groping air-breasts, turn wrists excitedly.
  • Government: Stomp foot on ground in front of you, and point foreward with arm of same side.
  • Shoot: Make fist with hand, and place the back of said hand on forehead. Extend index finger while moving fist away from forehead. Should end with a standard pointing gesture

And so on.

That is the manner in which I express myself. This, also, is how I express myself. I do not fare well with verbal communication. I stutter certain words (such as "I") and I talk very loudly; if the target of my speech is a pretty female, I lock up utterly; when giving a formal report, I talk very fast and into the paper I'm reading from (yet I still managed a silver medal in Informative Speech at the Baker Olympics last year); and the aforementioned gestures strike some as odd.

The idkydi stands for I don't know you, do I?

A note on the subtitle: it is a play on Noam Chomskey's information processing models we learned in Psychology. The Idea -> words -> phonemes -> speech model (top-down processing) has been altered to reflect my own shortcomings.

Good luck deciphering the crap,

- Chuck


2007-07-21 3:00pm

2. Dramatis Personae (14-January-2007)

Throughout the stories and anecdotes I will present in this blog, many names will consistently appear. Rather than describing each person every time I introduce them, I have decided to form this handy little Dramatis Personae (I just came off reading a Larry Niven novel, so that may have had some influence).

Names are arranged in alphabetic order.

  • Alan - Brother to Brian. Cool in his own right.
  • Brian - The greatest human being to ever walk the face of my corner of the earth. Man friend of Bryn and brother of Alan.
  • Bryn - Smart, funny, attractive, yet totally not my type. I tad condescending, but cool none-the-less. Lady friend of Brian.
  • David - Semi-regular member of the inner circle. Known as Nub-Sauce in our circle, occasionally.
  • Eric - Not as inept as he appears at first glance. Has a comb-over some of the time. We mock him relentlessly for th is. Also known as the Comb-Over Kid (that is a story which will be told at a very different time and place).
  • Father - The man who claims to be my father, although I have no grounds on which to dispute that claim other than hopeful thinking. He is an Urban Planner. He is also quite pussy wipped. Given name is Doug.
  • Jamie - When I tell you about her, I'll tell you all you need to know.
  • Jon - Good friend. Son of a minister. Likes running.
  • Julianne - Hot sister of Mark. Unfortunately, not a person, owing to her Freshman-ness.
  • Kira - The Ice-Queen of Hell. Sister of Bryn.
  • Mark - One of my closest friends. Spends altogether too much time with his girlfriend, according to her parents. Prior, he used to be a self-described pimp. Stubborn as a mule; thus fun to argue with. More emotionally aware than he lets on (let me tell you the Niagara Falls story sometime). Also known as 600 Dollar Burns. Has 2 retired parents, 1 hot sister (Julianne), and numerous other relations.
  • Mother - The woman who was too lazy to actually give birth to me (C-section). I will make my feelings about her made known elsewhere in the Chucksphere. Given name is Peggy.
  • Ryan - Another of my closest friends. Smart, with correct liberal ideas. Hilarious when doped up on alergy meds.
  • Steph(en) - Son of my former employers. Good guy. Likes running. Nor particularly good at showing up for Quiz Bowl matches.
  • Steve - Another of the "inner circle." Smarter than I am. Son of the judge. I've known him since first grade. His mom is just as dumb as mine.
  • Tom - Between whistling and naping, does great works
  • Veronica - The first girl I kinda had a relationship with.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the people in my life. This is simply a list of people who may or may not frequently be present when things happen that I deem worthy to write about.


2007-07-21 3:00pm

3. Chuck's Quotable Quotes (31-January-2007)

I consider myself to be quite the quotable fellow. So, I'm going to do you the favor of sharing all of my little gems of speech with you. Enjoy.

"Freedom is like currency; if not used, it exists only to be taken away."

"Tell me, does [name removed out of decency] burn for the touch of a man?"

"It only offends you if you let it."

"If I knew why I do what I do, I'd be a much happier person."

"Want leads to pursuit; pursuit to failure; failure to misery; and misery to want."

"The clam seeks not its prey, yet it is always satisfied. Emulate the clam."

"The seed of doubt has been nurtured by the waters of evidence and the manure of proof, and has grown into the tree of sorrow."

"I didn't read Walden for a very good reason: it is a carcinogen."

"Stupid! Stupid! Never turn down a free hug."

"I crossed the crick to buy a creamy with extra melk with a cue-pon."

(These are in no particular order. The first one was first uttered at math camp in the summer before 8th grade, and the second was said last Saturday.)

  • Name: wolfie

    “Read any good books lately?”

    How could you forget that one? That is classic Chuck.

    Posted Jan 17, 9:36 PM




2007-07-21 3:01pm

4. The Fisherman (31-January-2007)

I'll level with you, my faithful readers. I am a one-dimensional man. For all I talk about my various ambitions, I have one goal that supersedes all others. The treasures I seek is the joy of female companionship.

This end has consumed me, near as I can tell, since I "noticed" the opposite sex in 4th grade. And ever since, I've done a miserable job attaining this end.

I don't persue sex. I wouldn't say it's unimportant to me, but it definitely falls rather low on my priority scale. I seek neither social status nor a trophy. I want a person with whom I can communicate in a different way with. Attraction has something to do with it, but I honesty couldn't tell you why this is my obsession.

What I do know is that I like to talk about this little sport of mine in metaphor. I believe that fishing is the obvious choice for the metaphor. Thus, whenever I talk about "fishing," 9 times out of 10 I'll be talking about my quest for my Other Half.

Right now, I have only to say:

The fishing pond is not only devoid of fish, it appears to lack water, also.


2008-05-30 9:08pm

A Monument to my Failures

[EDIT: This list is just a reposting, with modifications, of articles found here and here.]

This is mostly a reposting of my article found here, with some additions. I plan to keep this well updated.

Books I have Begun, but Not Finished:

  • Walden (13-August-2007: Read enough to get the quote for the opening of "Insecticide")
  • For Whom the Bell Tolls
  • The Republic (24-MAY-2007: started the book, and may be finishing soon, and not in the way that gets it taken off this list.)(25-MAY-2007: 40 pages in, and I quit.)
  • Journey to the West
  • The Once and Future King
  • Paradise (Dante)
  • The Odyssee
  • A Study of History, vols 1-V (22-Feb-2007: Continuing with vols VI-XII, as that material looks less faulty. Still poorly written, though.)(15-March-2007: Ran into more intollerable dullness and shelved it.)
  • The Two Towers (Got to the part about Frodo and Sam's leg of the journy, and quit.)
  • The Return of the King (Quit after the Ring was destroyed.)
  • The Fountainhead (24-December-2007: Haven't quit yet, but it's not looking good.)(25-December-2007: It's Christmas, and Stephen Colbert > Ayn Rand. He even agrees on page 99. Ironically, I'm on page 99 out of 694 in The Fountainhead.)(25-December-2007: Well, finished that really quickly. But, still, Encyclopedia of Mythology/70 Wonders of China/air filter that makes my room smell disgusting/counting the $510 I made > Ayn Rand. Sorry, Bitch.)

Hobbies I have Undertaken, but Abandoned:

(Note, this does not include hobbies I conciously decided to abandon, such as Pokemon or the piano.)

  • Tennis
  • Skateboarding (17-MAR-2007: I just stopped caring, a long time ago. (Very long))
  • Playing the Guitar (19-FEB-2007: Learned some chords from Priya. At this point, I've had the guitar since Christmas '05.)(13-August-2007: Sometime in the past week, Lauren told me to start up again on the guitar because girls like musical guys. Because I like Lauren, I'll follow this advice.)(30-MAY-2008: Steve badgered me, and the Lauren thing. Back on.)
  • Web Design (17-MAR-2007: Redesigned the Chucksphere homepage and info page.)(13-August-2007: I think it's safe to say I'm back in the saddle.)
  • Writing
  • AP World History, (22-FEB-2007: Which I should still be working on as I write this.)(17-March-2007: It is done. Well, not done. Over, though. Now I must only wait for the hammer to fall.) (17-MAY-2007: AP Test) (21-July-2007: 5 on the AP History exam!)


2008-07-09 1:05pm

To-Do List

This article is merely a reposting of this post, combined with information from this post, with new material added on as projects crop up. I started with a to-do list that I already had created so I could feel good about having made some progress already.

[Last Updated 30-May-2008]

  1. Hang the Bull Horns:
  2. Write in my journal about stuff:
  3. Work on my Senior Project:
  4. Write the “About Me” section for my Info Page/my MySpace:
  5. Write the “Who I’d Like to Meet” section on my MySpace: [Obsolete]
  6. Finish “Insecticide”:
  7. Write the Retroactively Second Fisherman Article:
  8. Start again on the guitar: [I'm really only doing this to attract the attention of a certain girl who's feelings are 99% certain not to be requited. But Steve's been getting on my back about it, so...]
  9. Write "Why I am Single"
  10. " "France: Superpower"
  11. " "Reading on the Internet and the Deathly Hollows"
  12. " "Polls"
  13. " "Entropy and Evolution"
  14. " that article about the truck quote
  15. Finish Insecticide
  16. Begin writing again
  17. Finish The Three Kingdoms Boardgame
  18. Start "Under Fire"
  19. Do something about all those unfinished W3 maps
  20. Finish that story I started at the end of 10th grade
Next --->

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